12.20.2013

Triple Almond Biscotti


'Tis the season, everyone!  This time of year is filled with happiness and joy and giving and over-indulging. Who doesn't love that? One of my favorite holiday treats is biscotti. I have several different kinds I make regularly throughout the season and all winter long, if I'm being honest.  This Triple Almond Biscotti is very easy to make, and pairs famously with a mug of piping hot coffee or even hot chocolate.

11.23.2013

Roasted Red Pepper & Swiss Dip


As a blogger, I am supposed to follow these asinine guidelines on how to promote my blog.  {In 1950's announcer voice} "You too can be a popular blogger if you just follow these simple rules..."  It's really overwhelming and annoying and self-absorbed bullshit, in my opinion.  I am going to eat some Roasted Red Pepper & Swiss Dip while I contemplate it. (See, I followed one of the rules - "make sure you put the name of your recipe in the first paragraph so search engines ping it).

11.05.2013

Cheesy Skillet Bread


This Cheesy Skillet Bread is a sort of combination of stuffing and cheesy bread pudding.  It's crunchy on the top and bottom (the best parts!) and the middle is cheesy and gooey and custard-y like bread pudding.  It's a great snack to munch during a football game.

10.19.2013

Autumn Applesauce & Apple Butter


We try to go apple-picking every year.  I picture a chilly crispness to the air, bundled in a cozy sweater, the scent of a crackling fire wafting around us, warm apple cider spiked with bourbon, and we five laughing and teasing as we pluck ripe red apples from the trees, discussing the various ways we'll use these delicious apples.  We will make apple pie, apple muffins, Apple Spice Hand Pies with Cinnamon Cream, applesauce, apple butter, apple cider, apple beer, and a lovely apple and parsnip mash.

10.01.2013

Vegetarian Pulled Pork



You're probably asking: how the hell do you make a vegetarian pulled pork sandwich? Especially one that looks nearly identical to real pulled pork!  The answer is Jackfruit. What the hell is Jackfruit?  It is the fruit of a tree native to South and Southeast Asia, but it's also grown in India, Africa, and the Caribbean. Jackfruit can be eaten raw when ripe, and the flavor is a sweet mixture of pineapple, bananas, and apples. When it's unripe, it needs to be cooked.  Which brings us to the pulled "pork."

9.17.2013

Double Chocolate Fudge Brownies


Please don't be alarmed by the first ingredient.  I know, I was a bit nervous too.  Forget the beans because you can't even taste them.  Let's concentrate on how these Double Chocolate Fudge Brownies are chocolaty and fudgey.  Without the eggs to make them rise high like a cake (or Kate Moss), they remain dense and... well... fudge-like.  There's not a lot of flour to mute the chocolate taste.  And even with minimal sugar, the ripe banana contributes some natural sweetness along with the chocolate.  The molasses or coffee really adds depth to these rich, gooey, bites.

9.05.2013

Strawberry Pretzel Salad



If you were a classy lady living in the 1950's, chances are you were well acquainted with the Jell-o salad. This was a very popular way to get one's vegetables.  Yes, vegetables were thrown into a Jell-o mold, turned out onto a platter and served as a salad.  Nowadays, we are much more sophisticated with our Jell-o. We add fruit and salty snacks to make Strawberry Pretzel Salad.

8.29.2013

Zucchini Bread



You may have already blown thru your abundance of zucchini this summer.  I know my personal supply is done, but the farm stand down the street still has zucchini. And I'm sure everyone has their favorite zucchini bread recipe.  Here's mine!

8.15.2013

Tomatoes 101


Tomatoes are the pure gold of the summer harvests.  They are sweet, juicy, flavorful, and abundant.  There's nothing like picking tomatoes straight off the vine on a July afternoon and tearing into it like an apple, juice running down your chin and arm.

8.10.2013

Butter Toffee Blondies


I have a confession to make.  I'm not crazy about brownies.  I mean, they're good, and I'll always eat them. But they are just so-so.  Rarely have I had a really good, gooey, fudgey brownie that was memorable.  Now a Blondie?  Hell yes!

7.23.2013

Banana Pancakes with Peanut Butter Syrup


I had a really strange experience regarding these Banana Pancakes with Peanut Butter Syrup.  One night not too long ago, I was drifting off to sleep ~ I was in that trippy stage between sleep and awake where you're super comfortable and feel like your body is made of lead, yet you are somewhat aware of your surroundings.  All of a sudden I had an epiphany!

6.27.2013

Baba Ghanoush with Cumin Chips



Last weekend, we went to a 40th birthday party for our good friend.  I went shopping (groan...) for a cute shirt to wear to the party, since the women are all gym/fitness/volleyball people (a.k.a. skinny bitches that make me look like I'm 1256 lbs. overweight).  I found one that accentuates my boobs (my only asset right now) and minimizes the spare human being I have wrapped around my waist.  Feeling about 10% good about myself, I thought, "What the hell... I'll wear heels too!" Remember how I said they are volleyball ladies?  That means they stand 6 feet tall barefoot. Assholes.

6.13.2013

Fluffernutter Cocktail


I'm always looking for a new cocktail to try.  And no, I'm not a lush.  I'm just a working mom with three kids (one of whom is a teenager and the others are girls), a dog, a house, and the normal stresses anyone else has.  In order to not let the raging lunatic out (very often), I have a cocktail now and again.

5.30.2013

Smoky Cheddar Cornbread Poppers


These Smoky Cheddar Cornbread Poppers were a huge hit at a recent cook-out we hosted.  And it wasn't because everyone was wasted ~ that came later.  They are a great alternative for those who do not eat meat (moi) or who do not like cream cheese (my cousin Chad).

5.14.2013

Preventing Weeds in Your Garden ~ Organically



I've spent every spare minute the past few years weeding the damn garden.  About 3 years ago, I got the brilliant idea of spreading straw down to prevent weed growth.  Well, little Miss Dumbass here had no idea you were supposed to get "special" straw that had been treated or something.  Therefore, I had a beautiful garden full of grasses growing and strangling my veggies.  And I've been battling it since.

5.03.2013

Apple Spice Hand Pies with Cinnamon Cream


Why are little girls so mean to each other?  My 8-year old daughter and I were on a field trip with school together and were having a great time.  At the end of the day, we were to all meet in a central location.  My daughter sat on a brick half-wall next to a girl in her class and Girl Scout troop.  They were chatting and having fun.  Along comes (well, hobbles, as she has a broken ankle) another girl in their class, who is also in their Girl Scout troop.  My daughter's friend asked her if she could sign her leg cast, and she said yes and handed her a Sharpie.  Then my daughter asked her if she could sign her cast.  The girl looked her square in the eyes, cocked her head, hand on her hip, and said, "Um, no."

My daughter hung her head for a second, shrugged her shoulders, and then started doing some clapping rhyme thing with another kid.

4.04.2013

Homemade Vanilla Extract


I go thru a lot of vanilla extract in this house.  I always double (or triple, or quadruple...) any amount called for in a recipe.  And I only use pure vanilla extract because the imitation shit is flavored from wood by-products and chemicals.  Heinous!  Pure vanilla extract will last forever and it only has two ingredients.

3.28.2013

Tabouleh


Also known as Tabbouleh and Tabouli, this is a super-refreshing Arab dish.  It's typically eaten as part of a mezze, which is sort of like a tapas thing served in a spread of several small dishes.  But, as usual in these glorious United State of America, we whore it out.

3.14.2013

Lentils with Carrots & Onions


I'm sort of obsessed with Pinterest.  I realize I am not alone in this either.  There are a million zillion people on it, pinning all sorts of things such as crafts, home decor, and of course food.  And now I have a to-do list about 7 miles long, complete with projects and ideas I found on Pinterest.

2.07.2013

Garlic and Oil Spaghetti with Parmesan


461...  461 Ocean Boulevard is the address of one of Eric Clapton's recording studios.  NASA announced the discovery of 461 new planet candidates a few days ago.  461 BC is known as the Year of the Consulship of Gallus and Cornutus.  It's also the number of days since my last post.